Stranger From Another Planet
by Elliot Green
Summary: HP/HG There's a transfer student at Hogwarts, and in one night she manages to get the whole school arrested except for Harry and Hermione, who made a split-second decision that changed their lives forever. They decided to explore the universe with her.


**Stranger From Another Planet**

**a/n: This is just a random thing I wrote because I love all the space stuff, and haven't really found any with Harry Potter. I mean, there's a few, but not enough. I'll try not to make Kirsti a Mary-Sue.**

* * *

Harry frowned at his down at his empty plate. There was a transfer student this year, his sixth, which was weird since there had never been a single transfer student in all of Hogwarts' history. So why was there one now? He could see her clearly from where he was sitting. She had plain brown hair and plain brown eyes. In fact, she was so plain that five minutes later you'd have a hard time describing her. She wasn't ugly, but she wasn't pretty either.

After the first years were sorted, McGonagall cleared her throat to make an announcement.

"We have one more student to sort, a transfer student from... Somewhere." McGonagall looked at her list.

"K... M... T..." She stared at the paper.

"It's okay, Professor. My name is unpronounceable for all those who have grown up speaking Earth English. You can call me Kirsti." The exchange student said cheerfully.

"Um... Very well. Miss Kirsti, please sit down."

Kirsti smiled widely and sat down on the stool. The hat was placed on her head and was silent for a moment before it spoke.

"I can't read her mind." The hat said, and Kirsti stood up abruptly and pulled the hat off.

"Are you insane? You have a mind reading hat? Do you _want_ to go to prison?" She said, holding the hat at arms' length.

"Miss Kirsti! The hat is not illegal!" Dumbledore said, standing up and glaring at her.

"Yeah it is. I have to call it in." She lifted her wrist to her mouth and it became obvious she was wearing a black wristband.

"Quick! Call the UPD! They've got a mind reading hat!" Kirsti said into it clearly. Everyone thought she was off her nut. No one expected the band to talk back.

"A mind reading hat? Are they insane? Oh right. All Earth Humans are insane. Calling them. Okay, the UPD should be on their way."

"What's the UPD?" Dumbledore asked, cautiously.

"Universal Police Department." Kirsti answered, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

"What? I've never heard of it." McGonagall said sharply.

"Well of course you haven't. You're from _Earth_." Before anyone could respond, a man in a black uniform with "UPD" on the back in big yellow letters appeared.

"We got a call about a mind reading hat?" He said in a bored tone of voice.

"Yes." Kirsti said in an obviously fake voice. "I'm Abby Swinceton. I'm from Earth, but I have a friend from the Kirt Galaxy and he told me that mind reading is against the Galactic Law! So I had him call it in. Here you go." She held out the hat with a smile on her face and the UPD agent took it.

"Earth, eh? Well that means I can't arrest you for first offence... So I'm letting you off with a warning. No more mind reading."

"Yes sir!" Kirsti said, and saluted.

The UPD agent returned the salute and disappeared again. Kirsti sagged with relief.

"Yes! Rob, we got off!"

"Oh no, not Abby Swinceton again... I thought she was gone after the incident with the Meltr police. And let me tell you-" He was cut off abruptly by Kirsti hitting a button on her band.

"Miss Swinceton, what was that?" Dumbledore said, and Kirsti flinched.

"My name is Kirsti. It's easier to get off on charges if you say you're from Earth. Every police agent knows that Earth Humans are stupid and don't know about the laws."

"What do you mean, _Earth Humans_? What other humans are there?"

Kirsti gave him a pitying look. "Wow, I guess the rumours really are true. Humans that _aren't from Earth_. Now, you were going to sort me or something? I stopped paying attention."

McGonagall glared at her. "Just sit down. Now that our hat is... Gone... We have no way to sort people."

Kirsti shrugged, and sat down at the seat closest to her, which happened to be next to Harry.

Dumbledore said the start of term speech and the food appeared.

Kirsti looked at the food for a second, then un-silenced her band.

"And then there was that time in Barh, where the UPD-" He was cut off again by Kirsti hitting another button on it. She looked at Harry sheepishly.

"He's just talking about old times." She said, as way of an explanation.

Harry shrugged and started putting stuff on his plate.

"So, what's your name?" Hermione asked Kirsti.

Kirsti said something that most humans would find unpronounceable, then smiled. "But you can call me Kirsti. What's yours?"

"Hermione Granger."

"Harry Potter." Harry waited for the usual shock and flicker to his scar but none came.

Kirsti pressed a few random buttons on her bracelet then held it up to Harry.

"Cool! My Data is working again!"

"What's that?" Hermione asked.

"Do you really want to know?" said Kirsti.

"Yes, that's why I asked."

Kirsti shrugged and held up her band to Hermione and said in a clear voice, "Data; Hermione Granger, Earth. Language, Earth English."

"Data complete. Name: Hermione Jane Granger. Age: Sixteen. Parents: Jane Smith Granger and Bill Michael Granger. Birth date: Day fifty-two, Year five thousand four hundred and fifty six. Height: Five hundred and thirty-seven trits. Weight: Four hundred fifty-two hetts. Occupation: Student and Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry-" The data thing was about to continue but was interrupted by Kirsti jumping up quickly and shouting, "Shit!"

"Miss Kirsti! Control yourself! What is the matter now?" McGonagall said, silently vowing to bug Madam Pomfrey for a headache potion before she went to bed.

"This is a school of magic! Crap! I'm going to be arrested!" Kirsti looked around wildly.

"Of course! What did you think we taught?"

"I thought this was a normal boarding school! Rob and I detected a large amount of cigam energy here. That's magic. You Earth Humans for some reason started saying it backwards, maybe to not get caught using it or something... So Rob sent me down here and what do I find? It's a school for magic! Shit, I am in so much trouble." Kirsti jabbed a button on her wristband.

"Rob! You sent me to a school for cigam!"

"Shit! I'll call the UPD again, you need to get out of there. In ten seconds I'm going to beam you up get ready."

Kirsti turned to Harry and Hermione. "You two! Do you want to explore the universe? Quick!"

Hermione and Harry looked at each other, then answered yes.

Kirsti grabbed their hands and the three disappeared just as a whole squad of the UPD burst through the doors.

* * *

Kirsti, Harry and Hermione landed in a wide room. There was a large screen at one end that was showing a lot of different figures, with a smaller screen in the middle showing the Great Hall. There were a row of seats in front of it with a dark haired man about as plain as Kirsti sitting in the middle one. There was a row of computers in front of him, with a large keyboard.

"Hey, Kirsti. Who're they?" The man said.

"Rob, this is Harry Potter and Hermione Granger. They had ten seconds to decide whether or not they wanted to come with me, and they decided to come."

"Wicked. Want to watch your friends get arrested?" Rob said.

Kirsti and Rob were expecting them to try and help, but instead Harry just answered, "The only friend I have is Hermione. There was a girl called Ginny who used a love potion on me and a git, er, guy called Ron who used one on Hermione. They're the ones with red hair sitting near where we were sitting."

Kirsti turned a dial and the sound went up. Kirsti gestured for Harry and Hermione to sit down and they did. She followed suit and they turned their attention to the screen.

"Who are you?" Dumbledore said, glaring at the new arrival.

"UPD! You're under arrest for the use of Cigam!"

"We use _magic_, not this 'cigam'. And there is nothing wrong with using it."

"Magic and cigam are the same thing, both prohibited under Galactic Law. Put your hands up so we can remove your cigam peacefully, or we will be forced to arrest you."

Snape sneered. "You're just muggles. What can you do?"

Kirsti sniggered at that, and Harry and Hermione looked at her questioningly.

"We're in a 'space ship', as you Earth Humans call it. We're not form Earth. I'm from Crayn and Rob is from Nistra. On Earth, the technology isn't that advanced, but everywhere else in the Universe it far surpasses magic."

Hermione squealed and clapped her hands together excitedly. "Wow! That is so amazing!"

Kirsti nodded. "You have the chance for a real life now. If you have family, don't worry. Just buy a teleport bracelet. We don't really have jobs, we're more freelancers. We do odd jobs to get money. Since Rob reported the cigam using, we should be getting some credits."

"Credits?"

"Money. You get money when you report people using cigam." Kirsti explained.

"Kirsti, shut up and look at the screen!" Rob said, and the three ex-students looked at the screen.

Snape kept casting _Avada Kedavra _at the UPD agents, and the curses were bouncing off harmlessly.

Eventually, all the people except Snape had their magic taken away. Snape was arrested.

"Okay, I just got a thousand credits from the UPD as a thank you for discovering the use of cigam. All the students and teachers have had their cigam removed." Rob said. There was a row of computers before them and Rob was typing furiously. "Kirsti, explain what we do to these two. I'll drive. Do you want to go back to Crayn for a bit?"

"Please. I'll show them our base and then we'll get their stuff and leave." Kirsti turned to the two sixteen-year-olds.

"Sure. I have a question. If you're not from Earth, then why are you speaking English?"

"Oh, sorry. I forgot. We've got translators that translate what we read and hear into our native languages, and translates what we write and say into the language of who we are speaking to. It's just a small injection and then the translator goes through your blood stream and to your brain. Do you want it?"

Hermione looked at Harry and they both shrugged.

"Okay, inject us."

Kirsti rummaged through a drawer and pulled out two needles that were covered in plastic.

"The plastic is so they don't get dirty." She explained, and then injected Hermione. She discarded the needle and did the same to Harry.

"Okay, it should be fine now. So we'll go back to our base on Crayn and then get your stuff. It should still be in the castle."

Harry and Hermione nodded and Rob hit a button and Kirsti, Harry and Hermione disappeared.

* * *

They were in a small room that was completely dark.

"Lights." Kirsti commanded, and lights appeared. They were still in a small room, but now it was bright. There were boxes everywhere. The ones that were open had lots of odd devices in them.

Kirsti walked over to the nearest one and started rummaging through it.

"This is where we keep all of our stuff. I'll get you two outfitted and we'll find you something to wear other than those stupid dresses. You need to wear the right outfit when you go on as many adventures as us." She straightened again, her arms full.

"Okay, teleporter, wristband, contact lenses..." She continued like this, putting two of everything in a pile in front of Hermione and Harry.

"The teleporter is so that whenever we get separated we can teleport back to the ship. It can only take you to the ship, since these are small and need a direct channel. And to stay private, we make sure that the only one they have is to the ship. The wristband is a portable version of the computer we have on the ship. It can search data, erect a basic shield and a few other things. The contact lenses are for disguise. I've got some stuff here that will cover your scar. Oh, and the contact lenses you can wear instead of glasses."

"Wow. How did you afford all this stuff?" Harry said, putting on the wristband while Hermione followed suit.

"Rob and I are pirates. We do honest work a lot, but..."

Hermione paled. "You break the law?"

"Relax. We've never killed anybody. Just the odd thieving here or there. We do a lot of bounty hunter work, as it's the most fun. However, since it's dangerous it pays a lot. Oh no..."

"What?"

"The UPD have cleared out the castle. Do you have any stuff you really, really need?"

"Just clothes..." Hermione said. She had a lot of books, but they were all about magic.

"Okay, that's a relief. We'll get you new clothes. Don't worry about your family, you can see them any time."

"My family is dead." Harry said sadly.

"Oh. I'm sorry." Kirsti gave him a small, sad smile and grabbed two long tubes from a box.

"These are knock-out tubes. Carrying them is illegal, but just gets you a small fine no matter how many times you were caught before. Still, it's best to hide them." Kirsti handed them each a tube.

"What do they do?" Hermione asked. One end was open and one was closed off. The tube was black and there was a small green button near the closed off end.

"You point the open end of the tube and press the green button and it shoots an energy pulse. Whatever the energy hits, it knocks out, unless they have a shield up. As soon as we get your clothes and stuff, I'll show you where to put them."

Kirsti gave them a quick tutorial on how to use the new technology they had, and then teleported them back to the ship.

"My parents left me some money..." Harry said hesitantly.

Kirsti shrugged. "Good for you. If you want, we can change that over to credits and put it in a bank account for you for when you decide to settle down or if you get in trouble."

Harry smiled, then frowned. "It's in a magical bank in London. I'm not sure how much I have..."

Kirsti shrugged. "No matter. I'll get that changed into credits for you. Bank name and account number?"

"It's in a vault, all the coins. And it's at Gringotts."

"Oh. Wait one second." Kirsti punched some keys. "Okay, I can change it into credits and bring any items on board if you have the key."

Harry took a small key out of his pocket and gave it to her.

She put it next to the computer and scanned it. A pile of items appeared. Kirsti looked at the screen again and whistled.

"You've got five hundred thousand credits, which is enough to live off of for an Earth Human's whole life. You'll be fine. Go look through the items. Any magic ones we're going to have to get rid of, but the others you can keep."

Harry nodded, dazed, and went over to the items. He looked through them and pulled out a small blanket with the words "Lily Evans" on it.

"This is the only non-magical item." Harry smiled at the blanket and hugged it. "My mum's baby blanket..."

"Are there any magic items you want to keep?"

Harry shook his head.

"Okay. Rob will send the items to the UPD and transfer the reward credits to your account."

Harry nodded and hugged the blanket again.

"So what are we doing now?" Hermione asked, smiling at Harry hugging his mum's old blanket.

"We're going to go clothes shopping. You can use the wristband to change the colour of the contacts you have in. Make sure it's a bright, vibrant colour. I find that if you have a unique eye-colour, then that's what people remember about you."

Harry nodded and pressed a button on his wristband, and Hermione pressed the same one on hers.

"Colour?" Two tinny voices said at the same time.

Kirsti walked over to Hermione and whispered something in her ear. Hermione repeated it and her eyes turned a deep, stormy grey. Kirsti whispered something in Harry's ear and he repeated it. His eyes turned bright purple.

"What was that?" Hermione asked, always eager to learn something.

"Colour codes. There's so many different shades of colours that they have codes instead of names. There's a way to figure out what colour a code means, but it's hard to learn."

Hermione nodded thoughtfully. "Neat. So where are we going?"

"One second." Kirsti pushed a button on her bracelet and said a code, and her eyes turned deep, ocean blue.

"Okay. Rob, teleport us to a shopping mall on Crayn. I found you don't get arrested for not having a passport when you're on your home planet, and I can get passports for them later."

Rob nodded, smiled at Kirsti and pushed a button. They re-appeared in front of a small store, and Harry and Hermione followed Kirsti in.

Kirsti found them some dark grey clothes, and gave them a credit stick and told them that they could pick out their own underwear. Kirsti went to the other end of the store and got them some holsters for their knock-out sticks, and met them at the entrance again.

"Okay, Rob, teleport us back."

They re-appeared back on the ship and Kirsti showed them to their new rooms.

They put most of their stuff away and put on the other stuff. Kirsti showed them how to put on their holsters and put the sticks away and draw them quickly. When they were done, it was about eleven o'clock at night in London, Earth and Harry and Hermione went to bed.

"Why are you doing this?" Rob asked Kirsti as soon as they were out of ear-shot. "They're really nice and I'm glad to have them on board, but you've never done this before. Why them? Why now?"

"You have to admit Rob, it's about time we had some company. It's been pretty boring just the two of us."

"Are you saying I'm boring? What about that time we were on Mintran and the UPD were after us and we had to hang from the window ledge by our fingers and it was a hundred foot drop, and we had to drop to escape the anti-teleport field and we almost hit the ground and died?"

"Okay, I did not need to relive that memory. But it will be nice to have some company."

"Yeah, it will."

* * *

**a/n: OK, that's it. This is a one-shot, but there might be a sequel.  
**


End file.
